Resolutions.

I’m not generally a fan of New Years resolutions, but after a careful review of last year I decided to set a few goals for myself. With any luck, I can make 2013 a GRAND SUCCESS!

1) Eat More, Exercise Less.
– If there’s one thing I did too much of in 2012, it was exercise. Yuck. Mallory had me roller-blading, jogging, training for a 5k (which we all bailed on, ahaha. Success). I was walking at lunch with Stephanie. It was the worst. I’m going to try and cut exercise out of 2013 completely, and replace it with even more of my favorite food (i.e. pizza, hot pockets, and mac&cheese. Oh, and SODA).

2) Don’t leave Massachusetts.
– Best state in the US. Has everything I need. I hate adventures. I see no reason to leave, possibly ever again.

MassHole

3) Reading Goal for 2013: 1 Book.
– I set a perfectly reasonable reading goal for 2012 of 52 books. And only read 39. Ridiculously disappointing. So this year I’m going to aim as low as possible in hopes on not letting myself down again. Cross your fingers for me, people!

4) Drink more Soda.
– Right now I’m averaging about 3 cans of Mt Dew a day (give or take, and mix in a ginger ale every so often). But you know what? I just don’t think I’m drinking to my full potential. Why not cut out water and orange juice completely? Yeah. This is happening.

5) Run Desert Sand into the Ground.
– I love my car. And nothing says, ‘I love you,’ more than destroying something. This year I intend on saving a ton of $$$ by not spending a cent on my best friend. Oil changes? Naw. Tire rotation?  The alignment is bunk anyway so why bother. She wants to over-heat again? Let it happen! She’s already got 210,000 miles on her. She’s basically dead anyway.

6) Continue to Live with my Parents.
– Because I’m a winner. And we get along great! And nothing spells success more than a 25-year-old with a moderately good job living in her parents basement.

7) Spend Frivolously.
– As frivolously as possible! If at any point I have more than $20 in my bank accounts (combined), then I’m doing something wrong. How can I live life to the fullest if I’m not blowing all my money on pointless things I don’t need? Exactly, I can’t. I’m probably going to empty my debit card into Target after I finish this post.

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8) Neglect The Tragic Whale: Blog & Shop.
– Oh I’m still going to have my blog and my shop, but I’m going to neglect the shit out of them. Posts every 2-3 weeks, skipping Wednesday Whale Love completely, not working towards becoming part of a larger blogging community. And the shop? Pffft. I’ll be ignoring every message, sending orders out a week or so late, skipping delivery confirmation. Oh, you want a shipping notification for your purchase? That’s neat  because I’m going to forget to send that. You’ll know it shipped when it shows up at your house. THIS IS HOW YOU RUN A BUSINESS!

9) Dress Down, Every Day.
– I really want to show the people I work for that I have NO INTEREST in advancing, so I’m planning to go out of my way to dress down for work. I’ll take it a step further than jeans and a sweatshirt, though. I’m talking same jeans all week, the sweatshirt with pen across the chest and holes in the elbows, writing on my hands and not washing them, I might stop washing my hair and face. I don’t take my job seriously and now I’m ready for management to know it.

10) Allow the World to Crush Me.
– Every so often, when I’m feeling overwhelmed, I can literally feel a pressure pushing down on my shoulders. It makes it hard to breathe and sleep, to hold myself up right, and screws up my back. I call it “The Weight of the World” and I have to fight it. Sometimes it’s so hard that I think the world might win, that I won’t be able to push it off, and that I’ll be crushed to death. This year I’m going to give up. I’m going to let the weight of the world crush me.

Did you make any New Year resolutions? Here’s to achieving all of our goals!

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7 Responses to “Resolutions.”


  1. 1 Katelynn Scott January 1, 2013 at 2:47 pm

    I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. I’m setting an even lower reading goal myself… nothing but the pictures in Time Magazine… forget whole books or even whole articles!

  2. 3 Emily @ The Waiting January 1, 2013 at 7:35 pm

    I like the way you think. I will be not exercising with you.

  3. 5 Jay January 2, 2013 at 11:10 pm

    This is fantastic. I swear everybody makes the same resolutions, so yours are quite refreshing to read.

    • 6 TheTragicWhale January 5, 2013 at 8:52 pm

      I’m all for setting goals for myself, but I do that year round and don’t normally reach them, ahaha. I have to be honest.


  1. 1 2013: a Review. | the tragic whale Trackback on December 31, 2013 at 7:32 pm

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Kerry. 29. Central Mass. Maker. Fan of all things bright. Click to learn more!

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