the tragic whale

My Mom likes to tell us that she’s getting a smart phone. She likes to say she can use it to check Facebook and keep up with her banking. She tells us that she needs it because computers are big and phones are small, and she’ll get so many free apps for it.

And we like to say, “Mom, you barely use the phone you have. The battery dies all the time because you forget about it and don’t charge it. You struggle every time you use it. And you think you can handle a smart phone?”

Case in point, yesterday she tried to call and ask if I was home to feed the dog. I was at the beach, in the water, and it took me a minute to get to land and dig my phone from the bottom of my bag. I missed the call and tried to call back, and when she didn’t answer I knew she was leaving a voicemail. And she can’t figure out how to toggle from one call to another. So I waited a moment and tried again.

“Hi, sorry, I’m still at the beach and I was in the water,” I said.

“Oh, that’s ok… ” she said. “So I guess you aren’t home to feed the dog, huh?”

“No, I said I probably wouldn’t be.” As I say this I hear the tell-tale background BEEP-BEEP of a voicemail notification. “Oh, I just got your voicemail.”

“I didn’t leave one.”

“Ok.”

“All right. Bye.”

“See you later. Love you, Mom.”

“Bye.”

Here’s the voicemail she “didn’t” leave:

“She- This is her message: Kerry kerry bo berry, blah blah blah blah blah bo kerry, leave me a message for, Kerry. She sounds like a friggin’ idiot! But this is what happens, when someone calls, she picks up-” then is cuts off.

This is not an isolated incident. Who’s ready for a smart phone?