Archive for October, 2011



Fashion advice from Mom, episode 10

The case of the bright green jeans…

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Patty Claus

Now that my brothers and I are older, my Mom likes to get creative with the Christmas gift tags. Another thing she likes to do is ask us at Thanksgiving if we would like something she’s come up with (like a kindle, or a coin sorting machine), and then get it for us even after we say, “Naw, not really.”


These photos were taken by my brother, Bob. In case you couldn’t tell.

She likes to wrap everything individually so it, “feels like we’re getting more.” Hope you can tell that’s chap stick.

Can you guess what it is?

Nope, not Crest White Strips!

We also end up with a lot of band aids, Q-tips, Advil, those types of things. We have these health care flex card things and if you don’t use the money by the end of the year you lose it. So Patty makes sure to use it all up! on stocking stuffers.

A story about a grill

We’ve had our grill for… Maybe 5 years? It’s beaten and worn from countless dinner and enduring harsh weather. It’s on it’s last leg, ALMOST literally.

Here’s the story of it’s decline:

It started small. The grates were falling in when my Dad cleaned it. They looked thinner and thinner. Then they began looking a little holey…

The inside began to flake from excessive use and weathering. It’s a closed container so naturally it’s going to get a bit of moisture inside when it rains, freeze when it’s cold, etc. You might be thinking, “Well, but if you keep it covered..?”

We don’t. The squirrels kept jacking the grill cover so we’ve pretty much given up. And my Mom grills in all weather, rain, snow, sleet, doesn’t matter. If she’s making steak, stake will happen. It she’s craving a burger, burgers will happen. Chicken? Other grill-able meats? Year round food in the Bazinet residence.

Recently, the handle fell off. “That’s ok!” said Patty. “I’ll just use oven mits to open and close it!”

I said, “Really, Mom? Really.”

“That’s not so weird,” she says.  “I’ll just have to be extra careful not to slam it, so pieces of the grill don’t fall in our food.”

Last night she realized that the holes from where the hand used to be are making it hard for the grill to reach a proper temperature. But you know what? I ate that chicken anyway. And it was nothing short of amazing. But we’re having people over this weekend, so she’s a little worried.

Her official stance is that it takes too long to get used to a new grill. “I know how this one cooks,” she says. “I’m used to this one.” My Mom is delusional.

Memorable Mom Quotes

  • “There’s only one correct way to arrange a room.”

Joey: Mom, look at the Build-a-Bear I got from our secret Santa at school!
Mom: Oooh, why don’t you give it to the needy!

  • To my friend, Jordan.
    “Jordan, do you have a sunburn on the back of your neck? It looks red! Turn around so we can look at it…….. I wasn’t looking at your neck.”

“I don’t think a mother should be taller than her son. That’s just not right!” She’s taller than my brother.

  • To the J C Penny customer service hot-line: You are greatly disconveniencing me!

“I don’t want to tip on egg shells.”

  • “This is unaminous. I can’t say unanimous.

“Don’t ask me about my work day. I come home to get away from work. I’ll TELL you when you can ask about my work day.”

 

In the beginning…

In the beginning, there was just Patty and Kerry (and my Dad but this isn’t his day).

This is from a picture book I made for Mother’s Day a couple of years ago. I had black hair as a baby.

My mom would make me snuggle up with her in bed because she thought it was cute. I don’t know if it was or wasn’t, I can’t remember because I was a baby. We ARE smiling in the picture though (based off an actually photograph). But here’s a fun fact:

When I was born my nose was squashed to the side of my face and my mom cried and cried because her, “healthy baby was going to have to have plastic surgery!”  Luckily for her, my nose straightened out in an hour.

Little did my undeveloped mind realize that this would turn into the theme of our lives (us being my two brothers and I). Good, but good enough? We can always count on Mom to push us to be better than our best :)

Happy Birthday, Mom! A day-long tribute to Patty Baz

Yes, you guessed it! Today we are celebrating the anniversary of my Mom’s 35th birthday! To explain this further, I’m going to transcribe an interview I had with my dog. I call him Panda.

Panda: How does this tribute work?

Kerry: Great question, Panda. Every hour, on the hour, I will post something about my Mom. For example, it’s noon and we’re telling everyone about our tribute! Who knows what one o’clock will hold.

Panda: When does this end?

Kerry: When I run out of things to say about Mom.

Panda: Why are you doing this?

Kerry: Because without my Mom, The Tragic Whale wouldn’t be possible. Since about half of the content is about her.And she laughs when I have funny posts about her, and everyone should laugh on their birthday!

Panda: Can I have a biscuit?

Kerry: Ok. But don’t tell Mom because she’ll get mad that I’m feeding you.

Wednesday Whale Love, v5

Another beautiful whale ring!

Too expensive for my wallet but that won’t stop me from stalking it on the Web.

The design of this doesn’t seem too practical to me, but I still think it’s awesome:

It looks like the lid is the bottom. That’s all I’m saying.

And this little guy:

I guess Urban Outfitters discontinued it but I still think it’s 100% badass.



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